It’s Flex Friday!!!
BUT…you guys get that from all the time. Today I want to talk about something other than how much I love muscles. I want to talk about…THE C WORD… Confidence, self worth…or lack thereof!
This is something that happened to me several weeks ago and I struggled with sharing it. There is a long story behind it but basically…MY FRONT TOOTH FELL OUT!
Can you imagine the horror? As a woman!!!
When I was 10 years old I was involved in a pretty traumatic bicycle accident…I slid over 100 feet ON MY FACE in gravel. Broke an elbow, ended up on Crutches, and my two front teeth came OUT OF MY GUMS and stuck through my top lip. Indiana Regional Medical Center took really good care of me at the time and miraculously I have very little scarring on my face. The nurse who got the blood out of my favorite outfit…God bless her! They had to pull my teeth out of my lip and try to put them back into my gums….well it didn’t work out so well. I was left with two crooked teeth and one that never really re-rooted and was essentially a dead tooth. It was going to continue to discolor as I aged and eventually fall out on its own. THIS PLAGUED MY CONFIDENCE FOR YEARS!!!
I had a well meaning substitute teacher in the 5th grade…when I was THE NEW GIRL and no one knew about my accident or that my teeth used to be straight…tell me “If you get braces you will be the prettiest girl in High School”
Well…by the 5th grade I understood that I was one of four children and braces were NOT an option for my parents. So I took that to mean, I was not going to be pretty in High School, and I never felt that I was. Well into my twenties I lived HATING my smile and my teeth. I would cover my mouth when I laughed, I was ashamed of my smile in my wedding photos…I went to SEVERAL dentists and heard every crazy idea you can imagine on how to make myself more attractive, I had given up and that’s when finally I found THE ONE! My current dentist is like my soul mate. I went in for something routine..having given up on the idea of ever having a smile I wasn’t ashamed of. Dr. Bell took one look at me and said, “OH NO, you are too pretty not to have a perfect smile…this just won’t do” She took her time and did the work to find out what would be the best option FOR ME. We decided the best results would be for me to get veneers.
I scrimped and saved for several months to come up with a couple thousand dollars that I could spend on such a thing. They worked with my insurance company so that I did not have to pay SEVERAL THOUSAND DOLLARS…only a few thousand. Finally the day came, the prep was done, the money was saved and 2 beautiful teeth had been created to match the natural shade & shape of my teeth. I left my Dentists office that day a new woman. I was thrilled with my new smile and certain it was going to change my life and how I felt about myself. I just KNEW I was finally going to see myself as beautiful. What was on the inside was FINALLY going to show on the outside.
You see, I really am a kind, caring, compassionate, generous person. The kind of person who would do anything in my power to help someone in need. WHY ISN’T THAT ENOUGH??? Why couldn’t THOSE things give me the confidence I lacked…and more importantly, WHY ISN’T THAT WHAT I SEE WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR???
Well..even with my new teeth the habit was there…it was instinctual for me to put my hand to mouth when I laughed. I HATED THAT! I loved my new teeth and my confidence in my smile DID improve greatly…but I was not magically transformed. I still didn’t like the mirror.
SO BRINGING YOU TO THE PRESENT ISSUE….
I’ve had my new smile for about 4 years…but several weeks ago I bit into a piece of cheese at my desk and MY FRONT VENEER CAME OUT IN THE CHEESE!!! What I didn’t tell you was that in order to place the veneers on my dentist had to grind away my crooked, ugly, discolored teeth and bond the pretty ones on….so what I was left with when the veneer fell out was a jagged shaved away weird little snaggle tooth! I SERIOUSLY LOOKED LIKE GALLUM FROM LORD OF THE RINGS! A PALE, THIN GIRL WITH A SNAGGLE TOOTH!
I covered my mouth and went and told the boss I had a dental emergency and had to leave. I called my dentist hysterical and could not be seen until the morning. I told my husband not to look at me when he came home that night. I WAS MORTIFIED!
That’s when I REALLY started to feel like it was wrong for me to be SO GREATLY affected by this event. No one wants to walk around missing a front tooth…but come on…I’m a PERSON…a REALLY FREAKING GREAT PERSON ACTUALLY! Why does my confidence have to come from the mirror? And why is what I see in the mirror NEVER GOING TO BE good enough? That’s CRAP! ABSOLUTE CRAP!
I was raised right…two committed loving parents, a father who spent time with me and taught me things and loved me and let me know I’m precious and valuable, a mother who told me I was smart and beautiful and wonderful…so it’s not how I was raised.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME? It comes from within and it comes from society. What I THINK beautiful is supposed to look like. Someone else has nicer hair, someone else doesn’t need make up, someone else is stronger, leaner, fitter…someone else has prettier blue eyes…her brown eyes are beautiful. Look at her full lips.
It REALLY GOT ME THINKING! I see so many other women as being so beautiful…and I know they don’t all feel that way. Why are we so hard on ourselves??? I don’t know about you…but I’ve been working on that. That’s really not acceptable.
LADIES AND GENTS TOO….I BEG OF YOU…BE NICE TO YOURSELF TODAY!!! YOU ARE THE ONLY YOU YOU’VE GOT!